The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

   A Parental Review of "The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie" for Concerned Parents:
             Review Type: Animated,Movies, Posted by:

We were stunned at the amount of genuine violence in The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie.

Now, granted, it is a ‘pirate’ movie, but it is, we thought, first and foremost, a VeggieTale movie, and as such we had expected – particularly with the G rating – a fairly mild movie.

Not so.

In fact, make no mistake, this movie is first and foremost a pirate movie. As our 9 year old son observed, indignantly, “It must be because it is animated, so that no actual live action human death occurred, that it was able to get a G rating.”

This is a violent movie.

The very first scene is a big battle scene, and a child (the prince) gets kidnapped.

Throughout the movie cannons shoot, cutlasses are drawn, a boat is sunk, and the Veggies sing a wholey inappropriate song (“Yank his hair and break his nose”..”smack him with a rusty blade.”)

There are scenes that are flat-out scary, too. There are enorous walking Rock Monsters, with enormous booming sounds, and while the scene ultimately resolves (and the Rock Monsters in fact help the Veggies in the end), it doesn’t change how scary the scene is to start.

And as the Veggies approach the bad guy’s lair, they are confronted with a mechanical dragon that looks real, and acts real, and eats one of the Veggies! And if that isn’t bad enough, the Veggie then rescues itself by slicing itself out through the middle of the dragon’s neck!

In the end, the bad guy, who is the king’s brother – the uncle of the children – drowns. On camera.

We’re very disappointed, because we generally love VeggieTales, and this is not at all in keeping with their normal themes. It seems that they prostituted themselves, and their values, in order to get a big movie deal.

We cannot strongly enough not recommend this movie. If you must see it, wait until it comes out on DVD so that you can control better when to stop it. Which you will.

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

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2 Comments

  1. Comment by Brian

    You’re insane and you’re review is completely off-base.

    The movie is right in line with Big Idea’s previous offerings, including a moral message about doing what is right (even when it’s not the most popular option).

    My 5 and 3 year olds loved it and we’ve seen it four times.

  2. Comment by kristen

    I completely agree with Annie. I was shocked when my 4 year old son and I began watching this movie. This was our first experience with a Veggie Tales movie and will be our last. It saddens me that parents are to lazy to monitor what their children are watching and don’t care that their preschooler learns about weapons and battles. I understand that one day my son will know what a sword or gun is but, at the age of four it is not necessary. I’m disappointed that these children whose parents are numb to what they’re watching will be in Kindergarten with my son. So sad. And you wonder why the world is the way it is.

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